So, I passed a good test this weekend. Diana had some friends over. They ordered pizza (gluten-free, even). In fact, I even ordered it for them. And when it was delivered, I sat with them while they ate it, and had a lovely bowl of SCD chicken soup and a big ol’ pile of sauerkraut. And even better, I chose, genuinely chose, not to feel resentful about it. And it worked.
So, I passed a test, and that’s rad. But the next one is around the corner, and another one around that. Ultimately, every minute of every day presents opportunities to eat something I shouldn’t and to feel bad about myself for it. Or, to eat the right thing and still feel bad about it. And if I look out over the span of the next week, the next month, the next year, it seems impossible to stay true to my word. But if I look at the choice in front of me right now, and *only* that choice, it gets a lot easier. It’s easier because I only have to choose to do it right this time. Just this time. And if that’s all there is, well, that’s not so hard.
So, I passed a test. But it’s all a test. It’s always a test. And I may not pass every time, all the time. But if I can just pass it *this* time, then I’ll be better off than if I didn’t. And that’s enough.
Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often and commented:
My Cranky Gut has it figured out! If you focus on the decision that is right in front of you in the moment it takes the pressure off of the long term! Then, days turn to weeks turn to months turn to years of change!