So, I passed a good test this weekend. Diana had some friends over. They ordered pizza (gluten-free, even). In fact, I even ordered it for them. And when it was delivered, I sat with them while they ate it, and had a lovely bowl of SCD chicken soup and a big ol’ pile of sauerkraut. And even better, I chose, genuinely chose, not to feel resentful about it. And it worked.
So, I passed a test, and that’s rad. But the next one is around the corner, and another one around that. Ultimately, every minute of every day presents opportunities to eat something I shouldn’t and to feel bad about myself for it. Or, to eat the right thing and still feel bad about it. And if I look out over the span of the next week, the next month, the next year, it seems impossible to stay true to my word. But if I look at the choice in front of me right now, and *only* that choice, it gets a lot easier. It’s easier because I only have to choose to do it right this time. Just this time. And if that’s all there is, well, that’s not so hard.
So, I passed a test. But it’s all a test. It’s always a test. And I may not pass every time, all the time. But if I can just pass it *this* time, then I’ll be better off than if I didn’t. And that’s enough.