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“The arrogance of success is to think that what we did yesterday is good enough for tomorrow.”
― William Pollard

It’s said that consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, but I think there’s a corollary: complacency is the hobgoblin of us all. As humans, we always end up working so very hard to NOT allow things to be good, and complacency is one of the ways that shows up in my life, and many of yours as well, I’d wager.

“What the hell is he talking about???”. It’s a reasonable question. What I’m talking about here is holding myself accountable for my own health, and recognizing that the only one who’s going to maintain it is me. I’m talking about choosing actions that support one’s words. I’m talking about living with integrity.

Since starting SCD, I’ve kept a meticulous health journal. Each day, marking down everything I ate, every time I went poo (and what the resulting Bristol number was), how I slept the night before, and how I generally felt that day, along with anything else that seemed notable about the day. Sure, there was a day here or there that I missed. Even a few days in a row once in a while. But there’s been more than enough data to establish trend lines and see how the things I eat affect my health. It’s been an incredibly useful tool, and the results have been profound. Tracking my food and my health is a self-perpetuating sort of thing…. The more meticulously I track it, the more I think about what I eat (or am considering eating). The more I think about what I eat, the less I cheat. The less I cheat, the better I feel. Hopefully, you can see that, for me, it’s more than a data analysis tool. It’s a tool for behavior modification. I was so excited to get my new pocket calendar in January, looking forward to ending the year and being able to flip back through an entire calendar year of health and food data. If you’re a geek of any kind at all, I’m sure you can guess how exciting it was! And again, the results have been powerful… I’ve been feeling so good!!!

It’s recently been on my mind, though, that perhaps I’ve not been as careful about it as I should be. I’ve been skipping days in my calendar, and not surprisingly, with nothing to hold me accountable, I’ve been cheating on my diet a bit more frequently as well. No worries… I’ve been feeling great, so I was sure it would be fine.

You can see where this is going….

Yesterday was the 4th of July… For those of you not familiar, it’s Independence Day here in the states. A big deal. The whole country shuts down for an annual ritual of grilling, backyard parties, and the removal of fingers by the use of illegal fireworks. Diana and I had only the loosest of plans…. do some housecleaning, spend some time relaxing together, and possibly head to a friend’s house for a BBQ. I woke up feeling a little more fatigued than usual, after having not slept well the night before. By mid-morning, I was feeling an intense, crampy pain in my gut. The kind I’ve not felt since my surgery last year. Ouchy. It was accompanied by the most horrific symphony of burbly, gurgly noises you’ve ever heard!! By late morning, I was on the toilet. And then on the toilet again. And again. And again. If you’re reading this blog, then you know the routine. By afternoon, I was exhausted… worn out, in pain, and none too happy about it. “Ok,”, I thought, “No biggie. I’m sure it’s just a temporary reaction to something I ate. I’ll just check my journal and see what’s been going on lately.”. I knew that I’d skipped the last few days, and that there would be gaps, but perhaps there would be something I could learn.

No such luck.

As it turns out, I had not made an entry in my journal since May 21. Seriously?!? I say that I take my health seriously. I say that it’s important to me. I say that I’m a reasonably strict SCD-er. But obviously, my actions say otherwise, and I am not standing in my word, nor am I living in a place of integrity. This is entirely unacceptable. Don’t get me wrong…. there’s no shame in choosing to give up health journaling, or in choosing to cheat on my diet. I’m adult, and I can choose whatever I want. The problem here is in saying one thing, and doing another…. a situation that I am always on the lookout for, and one that, as human beings, we all fall into in myriad and sundry ways.

Last year, I wrote a Ground Of Being. It’s a statement that describes who I say I am, a line in the sand, and it serves as a touchstone for me. At any given time, I can look at my GOB and ask myself, “Are my actions supporting this? Am I standing in integrity?”. This is my Ground Of Being:

I am the divine consciousness, profoundly connected to the universe.
My success is driven by clarity, purpose, and partnerships.
I love wholly, choosing joy at every opportunity.
Intention! Whimsy! Courage!
I see the highest and best in all things.

It was recently brought to my attention that perhaps I was falling short in my efforts to ‘choose joy at every opportunity’. I was grateful for that input, and it was helpful to hear that my actions were not serving to support my word. I took it upon myself to focus my efforts on doing just that. It’s made a huge difference.

Now I see that I’ve been doing the same with my health. I’ve been SAYING all kinds of terrific sounding stuff, but when the rubber hit the road, I’d been choosing laziness and complacency. After all, I was feeling so good, I must’ve been doing *something* right, mustn’t I?

I’m updating my Ground Of Being. I need to hold myself accountable here. Here’s my new GOB:

I am the divine consciousness, profoundly connected to the universe.
My success is driven by clarity, purpose, and partnerships.
I choose joy and health at every opportunity.
Intention! Whimsy! Courage!
I see the highest and best in all things.

So with these words, I ask you, my readers, to bear witness. My actions did not support my words, so to you, and to myself, I apologize.

I would invite each of you to take a moment. Look at your own lives. What are the things you tell yourself? And do your actions support those words? In what areas of your life are you being complacent? Be honest and candid with yourself. This is not about ego or shame, this is about recognizing opportunity. If you’re willing to share, I’d love to continue the conversation… leave me a comment, and let’s see how much more integrity we can create in the world!